Saturday, November 13

Does a woman's brain ever stop?

A rant of sorts...

I'm at this place in my life where I feel completely unfulfilled. I went to college, have two degrees (double majored) all before I was 21 and yet work as a glorified secretary, filing and coping for most of the days. I struggle to study and spend time with God, after working 8 hours and being away from home for 10 all I desire to do is spend time with my husband and make the house a home. The biggest challenge I face is finding a balance, how do I live lost in Him and still devote time as a wife, daughter, sister, friend? I desire to spend time with my Father, learning, growing and being able to teach. All time I spend with Him I WANT MORE, at the same time I can't help but look around and make my next to do list.

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I have peace only because of Him and stand on that everyday, I am fulfilled in Him and have to focus on that or I go nuts feeling as if I'm going to hyperventilate from all the chaos that surrounds me.

God is doing a great work in us, we both believe we are in a time of preparation. I'm so grateful and my biggest concern is I'll screw it up by not doing enough, being too pigheaded, too stubborn, the list goes on...

The biggest battle I face in moving forward on the journey God has for me isn't overcoming financial obstacles or even finding a new job. It's the battle that goes on in my thoughts, everyday, contemplating how much time to spend on what and when to let go so I can truly be lost in God, working on the relationship we have.

Letting go and living everyday for Him is what I desire to do, want I long to do!


Friday, October 29

How He's Working in These Last Days...

I felt compelled to blog this morning after I received a text from a dear friend who received the following from her sister:

"Pray for me today as often as you can... I don't know about what just do it. A lady just pulled up behind my company truck handed me her ipod said listen to this song but not until I drive away. God wants you to know something. Keep my ipod and pray... The first song was Matt Redman, You never let go..."

The song is in my playlist below.

This young woman isn't saved, she walked away from God some years ago. In these last days He is working faster than ever before to pull those who have walked away from Him back, pull those of us who know Him closer, and bring all those who don't know Him to Him. I pray when He asks me to do something bold for Him I'll do it without question, for we don't always know or see how it will touch a life. I've always been hesitant to speak about faith and God to those that don't believe because so many from "The Church" have done so without grace before me and caused people to turn from Him instead of to Him. I can no longer have those hesitant feelings but instead believe He will guide me to those that are opening their hearts and give me grace while doing His work and stepping out in faith with boldness.

Will you join me?

Wednesday, October 20

When age gets in the way?


What happens when you find at every turn your age stands in your way? You have a heart to serve and yet people don’t give you a chance because they think you’re too young and don’t respect you. You apply for a bigger job but are questioned with how old you are and how little experience you have just by your date of birth. I feel like so many areas of my life has led me to mature faster than others, I’ve been told I have so much to give and yet because of a number I’m talked over, ignored and not respected. When do I shout to get them to pay attention to me and when do I sit back knowing that my time will come and it when it does I refuse to do what they have done to me. Shut me down because of numbers on a page. I’m someone who has so much love to give and yet can’t be heard by some because they know the year I was born. When do I gracefully slip into the back and when do I stand and shout making them listen. I pray God will show me how to be heard by those that can’t see past a number.


My latest mountain that I must move by the power God has given me through His son Jesus

Wednesday, September 15

Working for God

What does it mean to work for God?


If we come to a place in our lives where we live for God more than we do for ourselves, our own plans, or others the concept of working for Him and not for men will be easy to accomplish. What does it mean to work for God instead of Men?


“And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”

Colossians 3:17 NASB


“Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.”

Colossians 3:23 ESV


God is asking us to give our best at everything. The dreaded filing, copying, and working with people that we have difficulty with we must do it all for God. We must come to the conclusion that we do not work for Starbucks, the Government or the Church but we work for God. God provides all of our needs not the company. God will heal us from sickness and disease not the paycheck we receive. At the end of the day who do we give the credit to for putting a roof over our head, food on our plates and hot water for a nice shower? If we answer the job, the paycheck we receive, I do, it’s wrong! God is our provider (2 Timothy 6:17), God is the one ensuring we have all of these things and it is our faith in Him or lack there of that leaves us lacking or overflowing with abundance. So if God is our provider, than we are working for Him, not the company. If we had to report to God everyday as to what we accomplished, how much time you slacked off, would it be the same as what we reported to our boss? Can we honestly go before God and contest that we have done our best at everything in that job. That we show love to our co-workers on a daily basis? Giving them grace and forgiveness when needed, and asking it from them when we fall? Can we tell God at the end of every day that we have done our best?


He is asking us to do that, do our best because He is our provider, He is our boss and He is the one we must face. If we want a raise we need to go to Him, if we want a new job we need to go to Him, if we want different hours and more vacation we need to go to Him. If we lack in these things than it is on us, because we fail to do what God has asked. So next time you sit at work, trying to figure out what to procrastinate on first, remember God is the author and finisher, He is the one signing your paychecks not the CEO of the company. The next time we have a frustration against another, before we take it to the world (the office gossip) lets lay it at the feet of God and let Him guide us in our actions.


“Set you minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.”

Colossians 3:2,3ESV


The death this verse speaks of is not literal death but the death that occurs of your old self when you are baptized with Christ raised from the dead and become a new person in Him. He is telling us to not look on the worldly things (Colossians 2:8, 20-23), don’t look at the here and now that says we can’t or it won’t happen but to continually set our mind on His things.


“And He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together.”

Colossians 1:17 ESV


When we ask Him into our life, make Him the Lord of our life and seek Him in all things everything holds together. When we stand in Christ the devil will make His attempts to steal, kill and destroy but when we stand in Christ and have faith in Him for all things, taking authority with the power of the Holy Spirit, God will hold everything together!

Monday, August 16

Wishing Away God’s Time


This came to me while at my desk on a weekday morning hoping for the weekend. I have taken so much time God has given me for granted. How do we make every moment precious to us as God intends? With all the work that needs to be done in spreading His Word throughout the world, shouldn’t we be asking for more time and showing God how precious it is to us, then wishing it away so quickly?


I’m just as guilty of this; taking time to watch meaningless shows instead of studying and spending time with Him. I’m not saying don’t relax. I am saying how often do I choose Him and His things over my own?


Some of us are good at putting others first, especially parents. But when do you put Him before yourself? Putting your spouse, children, friends, and extended family before yourself will do nothing for them if you first don’t put Him before yourself. My husband and I were talking on this the other day, he made a statement that stuck with me. “When it finally becomes real to us that we are making the most important Being in the universe wait for us by not getting up early as we promised, or making time through out the day for Him, then perhaps we’ll get serious and actually do it.”


Maybe you think if your heart isn’t in the right place or you are in a bad mood it wouldn’t be profitable; but isn’t that when we should be in the Word spending time with God even more? Isn’t that when we should be laying down at the feet of Jesus asking Him to change our hearts, to put us in the right mood?


Why are we so stubborn about the mood we are in, or how our days turn out, when we doom them from the beginning and not allow God to work in them? How many times have I woken up wishing I could go back to sleep knowing today is going to be a “bad one,” or not looking forward to a week ahead at work because of all the meetings I have to attend? “It’s going to be a rough week.” I’m dooming my day or week before it even gets there.


“ For let him who wants to enjoy life and see good days (good-whether apparent or not) keep his tongue free from evil and his lips from guile (treachery, deceit).”

1Peter 3:10 Amplified


“Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceit.”

Psalm 34:13


“Put away from you crooked speech, and put devious talk far from you.”

Proverbs 4:24


I’m fighting against God by using negative words and thinking instead of working with Him. What we speak becomes our thoughts, which, if thought on long enough, falls into our heart and does damage or good depending what they are. We need to more closely watch our vocabulary; but also take an active role in controlling where we let our minds roam.


“We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive t0 obey Christ”

2 Corinthians 10:5


“For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.”

Hebrews 4:12


The Amplified Bible explains it further, just quoting the end that I want to emphasis, “exposing and sifting and analyzing and judging the very thoughts and purposes of the heart.” As a child, I was taught God is everywhere and knows all things. If you do something bad even, if your parents are unaware, God knows and sees it. How often as an adult I forget that simple lesson?


If we desire to have active, productive, positive days we need to use our words wisely to convey that message, not doom it from the start.


“Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.”

Ephesians 4:29


The Necessity of Living in Love

1 John 4


Do you have hate or discord in your heart for anyone? Do you have or have you ever had ill will towards a person or group of people? If so, first you must confess that sin to God and rid it from your thinking and heart. Second you must discover why it is a necessity to live in love. This concept isn’t a 1970’s hippie movement in 2010 but a concept originated from God and found in His word. You see God is Love (vs.16), so when we are able to live fully in love then we are living in Him and able to truly show Him in every aspect of our lives and every place we inhabit. When we stop speaking ill of others and wishing others bad, when we show them love no matter how we are treated, following those old “golden rules,” we are in fact following one of God’s commandments. “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God,” reads 1 John 4:7. So in fact by not loving or showing love we do not truly know God and are not obeying Him either (1 John 4:8).

God showed us true love by sending His only Son to die for our sins at Calvary. I’m not sure if many of us truly grasp that; how deep God’s love is for His people-all of creation; nor do I know if we’ll ever be able to grasp that. But, I sure want to try and not only understand it but show a love to God that is worthy to Him. I believe the way to start is in obedience to Him, by showing love to everyone. Now don’t misunderstand me, you can still not like a person or even disagree with a person but that doesn’t mean that you can’t show them love. Instead of striking in anger you turn the other cheek both literally and figuratively. If someone is mean to you, you pray for them that God will fill their life; you pray that God would develop your heart to be able to empathize with them and, by showing them love, show them God. Pastor Steve from Canyon Hills said something at a child dedication ceremony that is relevant to this, “Always put your marriage first parents, because by showing each other love and having your child see that love he or she is able to see the love God has for him or her.” By showing love, others are able to see God through that love. “No one has seen God at any time; if we love one another, God abides in us, and His love is perfected in us. By this we know that we abide in Him and He in us, because He has given us of His Spirit,” 1 John 4:12-13.

We have the ability to love and to be loved by others because “He first loved us” (vs. 19). When we walk perfected in this love we are free from fear (vs. 18-19). The more freely we are able to walk unhindered in love the closer we are able to draw in our relationship with Christ because the more of Christ we will have in us.

  1. God is love
  2. Love is a commandment from God
  3. Love is how we show God to others
  4. By living in love we are protected.

Tuesday, July 13

Heart Matters


I want the next step for my future and my families future on His timeline not my own but I also don’t want to delay His timeline. I know God has a bigger purpose for our lives than what we are currently residing in. I know whatever the future holds for my family it will happen when we are ready for it and it is ready for us. Everything in our lives so far has happened on His timeline and has been right! I believe my marriage is a perfect example of this. My husband and I were friends for over twelve months before we became more. I recently read over a letter I had written to God about when I discovered my heart had feelings for Matthew. You see at the time I knew the chances of Matthew having the same feelings were slim. I asked God to either remove those feelings from my heart or place them in Matthew’s because I could not lose my best friend. When we were ready to see each other as more than just friends it happened but that’s because it truly happened on God’s timeline. I laugh when I think of how little faith I have or how difficult it is to hand things over to Him when I know the only reason Matthew is in my life is because I was able to trust in God and give that care completely to Him. Matthew is the biggest blessing in my life and I was able to hand that care over so why not everything else? Perhaps because that was a heart matter and my heart can do that but anything that is also a head matter I have difficulty with. So do we need to turn everything in to heart matters only? If you think about it the Bible states how important it is to do things with your heart repeatedly. “The desires of your heart will be given unto you…” Love is all though out the Bible and how important Love is. Where do you think of love residing and coming from, the heart. If your heart is in the right place, if you allow your heart to lead you, your path will be right.

What is the heart I’m talking of? It’s the heart of God. It’s the heart God wants you to have, and the heart that forms as you cling to Him. The closer you are to God, the more your life is transformed and that begins with the heart. The worst sin is to harden you heart against God, so opening your heart completely to God can only do you good! The big question is will you allow yourself to do that, will you be okay with making yourself that vulnerable? Can you release that amount of control to your Heavenly Father? Can you trust Him like that? Most will have a struggle with that, they have been hurt by various people and organizations (including churches) to the extent this is something that will be a constant struggle, but isn’t it a constant struggle we need to endure? Isn’t this our life’s journey more than anything else, to completely and utterly give our heart to God? I believe when you have done that everything in life will be easy because the level of trust you have in God will be uniquely yours a level few obtain and yet all should seek. This level of trust will impact the level of faith you have thus you are able to believe in God for all things because you first opened your heart to God!

So reader, I’m asking the same questions of myself, have you opened your heart to God completely? If not what is standing in the way and how will you tear down those walls so you can?

Thursday, July 8

“Our house is built upon the rocks, now we must build the surrounding gate.”

Psalm 91

God gave me this word of wisdom on May 10, after my husband and I had gotten in an argument. The only reason we got in an argument was because we had both let our defenses down.

My husband had let his defenses down by “quitting.” After applying for several jobs and being turned down he was hurt and upset with God so he stopped. He stopped praying, looking to the scripture, even talking casually with God. We’ve all done this at one time or another and know exactly how it feels. For one reason or another we stop with God because we feel as if He has stopped with us, but that is where we make our mistake God never stops with us. He always wants the best for us and will always want us to be in close relationship with Him.

I had let my defenses down by sheer laziness and stubbornness. I was tired of doing it alone. My husband always does things on his own timeline so I felt as if I was going alone. I also felt alone because I questioned everything the Spirit gave me since I was wrong last time. I didn’t want to put the work in anymore, which was wrong of me. God’s word warns us of slothfulness for a reason.

We stopped focusing on Him and the devil got in to our thought life and roamed free.

My husband and I are built upon the rocks for several reasons. First, we were raised in Jesus loving families. While the doctrine we were raised with was very different, we both grew up believing in Christ and loving him. Second, we have given our lives over to him. We both were baptized and believe in what that represents. Dying with Christ, being raised up with Christ as new beings cleansed of our sins. Third, our consciences haunt us when we do things wrong and we know what is right. Ultimately I believe God is our conscience, the closer we are to the things of God the greater strength our conscience has over us. Because of these three things, anytime we get close to running from the things of God or turning away one of these things stops us. We know we can’t, we shouldn’t or ultimately deep down we don’t want to.

So what does it mean to “now build the surrounding gate?” For us this is spiritual. This is digging further into the things of God, seeking Him and staying focused on Him so the devil cannot get in to our thought life or our lives in any way.

  1. We must seek Him through His Word.
  2. We must be in constant communication with Him, keeping our minds focused on Him and open to His voice if He speaks.
  3. Have an active and focused prayer life. Following Jesus’ example to offer up prayer. (Hebrews 5:7)
  4. Spending time each day worshiping Him and thanking Him.

Tuesday, July 6

Do you have faith God has your back?

In life who do you trust the most; consider your most dependent friend, who do you confide in? Most would list off their spouse, best friend, significant other, etc. but shouldn’t we instead by saying God? Shouldn’t God be the one we continually go back to for advice, comfort, strength and confidence?

We are hurt by our spouses and friends over the course of our lifetime and yet we continually forgive and go back to them. Sometimes it’s an unhealthy relationship of pain and other times it’s blessed by God and extremely healthy but either way things happen, we get hurt and forgive. Ultimately it’s because even if you are seeking God and striving for righteousness you still fall into sin and hurt others.

God is righteous, He is trustworthily, He is our protector, yet when He hurts us or we think He has done wrong against us we instantly turn away giving Him no time to explain, to pull us closer and hug us, to lift us up. His word repeatedly shows us his trustworthiness and promises of protection. “God is faithful (reliable, trustworthy, and therefore ever true to His promise, and He can be depended on); by Him you were called into companionship and participation with His Son, Jesus Christ our Lord,” reads 1Corinthians 1:9 of the Amplified. “He can be depended on,” I love that part, when I read that it means I will always have someone’s shoulder to cry on, someone to lean on. When we are let down by God, is it really God who let us down or ourselves? Let me explain myself, what I mean by this is did we believe or want something that didn’t line up with God’s word thus He wouldn’t provide it or did we lose faith somewhere along the way that God could provide it for us thus limiting God? God always has our best interest at heart that has to be solidified in your heart by further reading of His word. “Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful,” Hebrews 10:23. This conclusion was not easy for me to come too, I had to be humbled by God on many occasions and have the workings of the Holy Spirit to come to this. You see I went up for much better job, I prayed about it and felt that it was right. Everything was going successful, testing, interview, everything but when it finally came down to it I didn’t get it. This was really hard for me because I truly believed I had heard from the Holy Spirit, had others tell me the same thing and yet I didn’t get it. While I had prayed about it and even perhaps did hear that it was mine, I wanted it for the wrong reasons and for that God couldn’t provide. It was a position of greater influence and pay; I looked on that too much instead of depending on God to provide. While I tried to believe His promises in Luke 12:24 which says “Consider the ravens, for they neither sow nor reap; they have no storeroom nor barn and yet God feeds them; how much more valuable you are than the birds!” I had lost sight of that and lost faith in that, I was believing too much on myself and seeing the possibilities of providing for my family than God as my provider. I also sought after the power; I have always wanted a position of power so I could make change happen. The other night while in Bible study with my husband the Holy Spirit gave me a revelation, “You have always wanted a position of power to make change happen, but as a believer in Christ Jesus you already have the power to make change happen because you have the power of Jesus Christ through the Holy Spirit.” It took months after the event of losing that job opportunity for my heart to open enough for God to give me this, to show me why that job wasn’t part of His plan for my life but part of my own.

God’s word gives us multiple examples and promises of His faithfulness towards us. All of Hebrews 11 is about our faith in God and how He is faithful to us, He provides and protects whether it’s being able to conceive as Sarah, being led through the wilderness and fed even when food was not present as Abraham or Noah being warned and prepared for the flood. God provided and protected, He was faithful to all of those people and is still faithful to us today as long as we have faith in Him and declare Him as Lord of our lives. The question is whether you can have that level of faith, the level of faith as defined in Hebrews 11:1, “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, and conviction of things not seen.” Can you believe in God, Father, Son and Spirit without seeing them but only seeing their mighty works no matter how small they may be? Can you free yourself of the worldly mindset and pick-up the mindset of God? Can you believe and KNOW Isaiah 54:15 to be true, “If anyone fiercely assails you it will not be from Me…” God not only has our back, He is standing in front of us with a sword of Glory, Might and Majesty fighting for us every time. Without that we would crumble like dust.