Saturday, November 13

Does a woman's brain ever stop?

A rant of sorts...

I'm at this place in my life where I feel completely unfulfilled. I went to college, have two degrees (double majored) all before I was 21 and yet work as a glorified secretary, filing and coping for most of the days. I struggle to study and spend time with God, after working 8 hours and being away from home for 10 all I desire to do is spend time with my husband and make the house a home. The biggest challenge I face is finding a balance, how do I live lost in Him and still devote time as a wife, daughter, sister, friend? I desire to spend time with my Father, learning, growing and being able to teach. All time I spend with Him I WANT MORE, at the same time I can't help but look around and make my next to do list.

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I have peace only because of Him and stand on that everyday, I am fulfilled in Him and have to focus on that or I go nuts feeling as if I'm going to hyperventilate from all the chaos that surrounds me.

God is doing a great work in us, we both believe we are in a time of preparation. I'm so grateful and my biggest concern is I'll screw it up by not doing enough, being too pigheaded, too stubborn, the list goes on...

The biggest battle I face in moving forward on the journey God has for me isn't overcoming financial obstacles or even finding a new job. It's the battle that goes on in my thoughts, everyday, contemplating how much time to spend on what and when to let go so I can truly be lost in God, working on the relationship we have.

Letting go and living everyday for Him is what I desire to do, want I long to do!


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