Friday, June 29


As this month quietly closes up I'm grateful the Lord has been faithful. Through each event and there have been several He has given my husband or I the peace to push through. June is always a hectic month for us, we have six birthdays and father's day all in June. After this year we take that to only five. Birthdays unfortunately went by the wayside this year. Being 14 weeks pregnant and having everything crashing down around me, I know God was the only one that could of gotten me through. In the same day I found out my grandpa was dying, my mom needed to have another diagnostic mammogram and my husband needed to be tested for a genetic trait because I tested positive for it and it could of affected the baby. Less than a week later we got the email from our landlord stating our lease is up and we need to resign or move and our car's check engine light came on.

Being pregnant I couldn't have a glass of wine at the end of a rough week or even overeat with comfort makes me sick. Ugly crying was out as every time I started to cry that hard I almost threw up. My husband thinks me being pregnant through the whole thing was a giant blessing...I had to process everything as it came with the Lord properly. No being stupid. I just couldn't. So with each new wave of stuff I cried out to God. While we still have some unanswered things that we continue to strive to listen to God for (money to move if we are supposed to or mold control if we are to stay here and money to fix the cars) through all of it He's been with me. I start to cry with every song that comes on about salvation because it's what gives me hope I'll see my grandpa again. I've realized his death is just the first of many I'll come to experience and that I've been blessed to not have been touched by it until 25.

I've come to realize that I can't always be there for everyone and trying to is just to much. Being pregnant has slowed me down and made me realize my body can't handle that type of emotional output any more. Being around family for one weekend took me two days to recover.

Waiting for test results to come back for my mom has never been easier when I'm also waiting to see if my baby is okay. I had to trust in God or at least try. I had to believe in healing or at least speak it out and hope in Him. I didn't see any other option and I'm thankful the Holy Spirit guided me to that conclusion. Both the baby and my mom are okay. My mom will need a check-up in 6 months just to double check everything is good. As each thing has been taken care of, looking back I know God will continue to present a solution to us for everything that comes. Two weeks after his 81st birthday my grandpa went to be with Jesus. It was quite and painless and in his sleep. Now his mind and body are whole and it's not goodbye forever, just for now. Thank you Lord for your promises!

With each thing that came my husband reminded me, He wouldn't let anything through that we couldn't handle. As I look back I wonder how we pissed off the devil and what big thing is next. I've learned every time we are attacked all at once there is a breakthrough waiting for us. Perhaps this one is simply us learning how much more we can handle and overcome. Spiritually, emotionally I feel stronger, older. I welcome July and usher June out quickly. Glad it is over. Thankful for a few days off to process everything. Grateful the Lord is ALWAYS faithful!

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