Right now in this time we are preparing for so much. We sit and wait and prepare for our little boy. We buy clothes, toys, diapers, all the necessities. We look to the Lord for the wisdom and guidance in raising him. My husband and I both are comfortable with babies, it's the raising them to become strong men and women of God that overwhelms sometimes. So we start now. We look at how our parents raised us and talk of adjustments to try and improve on what they've done. We pray over our little boy even before conception. We take these nine months to prepare.
At the same time we continue to prepare for that next step God has for us in ministry. I married my husband knowing he was called into ministry and knowing that accepting his proposal was taking that life on, that calling on as well. At times it's been challenging but it's also been one of the biggest blessings. Over the past year plus we've both felt we're in preparation mode. The church we attend hasn't felt home for us. I realized the other night I haven't felt at home in the state I've lived since I was four for the past several years. God's been preparing us, slowly steadily changing our hearts and preparing us for His ultimate plan. I remember the day we stood on the pier overlooking the Puget Sound, just engaged and knowing in my heart so deeply this wouldn't always be home. Matthew has felt the spirit of change recently. We both finally felt release to look for a ministry position and after much prayer have taken the leap of faith and applied for a position we believe is right for us. The past two years looking back I see God's hand all over every part of our lives.
In my study tonight I ready James 2:1-4. It jumped off the page at me, almost as a gentle reminder from the Lord, when you get into that position of ministry be careful to treat everyone the same. How easily it is to speak to the students that are outgoing and easy to carry a conversation with or the students that reach out to you. How careful do we have to be to not treat those "preacher's kids" differently. Matthew and I both have a heart for those that aren't always on the "in" crowd. We were both there once ourselves so we notice those kids more easily. Even with the best intending kids, groups will form. It's part of our society and our nature, finding those that we are most comfortable with and then closing in. As those friendships begin to grow deeper we forget to include others and often times unknowingly begin to leave others out. I've seen the hurtful effects countless times over the past year of being involved in the youth group of our current church. I see it even in the adult groups. As leaders, as a future pastor's wife the example I set, the things I do will be scrutinized. While some expectations I may be held to may not even be fair there are things I'll have to hold up. As we continue to prepare for a full time ministry position, as the Lord continues to prepare us I am so grateful that he opens my eyes to versus like James 2:1-4 and I pray He will continue to do so. I desire to lead by example to the best of my ability and treat every child that comes across our path equally regardless of family circumstance, personality or abilities.