Sunday, September 9

the Little things

It's the little things sometimes that keep me going, hoping, my faith growing. We are at such an odd place in life, and ministry right now. I feel like God is slowly cutting all the strings, getting us untied and ready to leave at a moments notice. I know He has a plan and it's a great one but in the meantime it's awkward at times and lonely. So it's been in the little things I've taken comfort, since all the big ones are up in the air.

I'm thankful for
1. The little Seahawks jersey I found at a garage sale for $1 for my little boy. It's like a 2T but I don't care. If they make it to the playoffs this year I'm sure my hubby and I will put him in it just for kicks at only weeks old. It was sitting on the table, on the top like it was just for me.

2. We went out last night. As I've gotten older I'm more able and willing to request exactly what I want. I used to see my mom do it as a kid and was so embarrassed by it. Now I realize why she did it. If you're going to pay $40 or $50 on a dinner then you want to enjoy it. So I called ahead and reserved a booth for us. They are always more comfy then a table cramped in a tiny space sometimes getting your chair knocked by others. God cares even about the tiny stuff because when we got seated it was one around the corner on the edge of the bar by itself. My man had access to a tv, he was able to watch college football and it was enough off to the side we could actually hear each other talk.

Sometimes when you are still waiting on the big things in life, for God to show you where you should turn next it's the little things that you need to focus on to remember how much He cares. That you aren't alone. Over the past several months we've gotten rid of a lot, cleaned out, paired down. Looked at what we really want to keep, tossed what we haven't touched in a year. We're lighter and there is still more we can do. We're month to month in our lease. We followed God's voice and stepped out of the one ministry we were involved in. It's been hard but the more I look around the more I know God's preparing us. My heart is ready for a big change, I can leave this place I used to call home without big tears or heartache. It's the beginning of something big.

Monday, September 3

Random Thoughts

1. I think my cat is developing sibling rivalry with my little boy. I'm 6 months along and my cat continues to want to cuddle even more and not just cuddle but climb up on my tummy and be in my face cuddle. I've never been one of those to think that my cat is my kid, he's the family pet but over the last couple of months I'm starting to wonder if he knows the family is about to change. Did I mention he's big, not a kitten and it's not comfy to have him on my tummy...goodness.
2. Summer goes by too fast when you're an adult. I now get why so many told me to enjoy being young and find myself telling kids the same thing. I'm ready for fall, tea and cozy blankets but boy has time gone my fast this year.

3. Pregnancy - I can barely wait until December. It hasn't been one of those "I'm enjoying this" moments. The happy second trimester is pretty much over and it never happened for me. Matter a fact, it got worse in the second trimester for me. That could be why I barely have any photos and haven't written about it much. Writing about throw up, constipation and the constant state of tiredness isn't something I want to document very much, then again I think someone could make a sitcom out of it. You could put a funny twist on it, it could be a good comedy. The things no one tells you about pregnancy and the ways you'll gross out your husband. Oh and if I get one more dirty look for saying the truth from one of those moms who had a perfect pregnancy I may try and puke on her shoes. Just cause I'm not enjoying being pregnant doesn't mean I'm not looking forward to holding my little boy and knowing somehow as soon as I see him it will all be worth it. I can feel him kick and that makes me smile but my hubby can't yet. Apparently I have an anterior placenta, hoping it migrates to the back soon so he can feel him. This ride I'm on it like no other that's for sure!

4. Next stages - We took the leap and applied for a youth pastor position, didn't get it. It's hard, we both feel so detached from our home, our church, our current place. We feel completed here, ready to move and yet we haven't heard the answers as to where. This middle stage is difficult, the patience to wait quietly and pray. I haven't set up much baby stuff - wait I haven't set up any because we feel like we'll move before he's born but it's been difficult because that's not who I tend to be. I like things put together and decorated. Then again if this is where I need to be so God can move on our behalf, bring it. I'm happy to stay undecorated for however long He needs me to.

5. I better get to work, even with the day off I still have to work. Darn project. Okay I'm thankful my work situation continues to improve but I look forward to the time when my weekends will be my own again. Perhaps sometime soon.

6. I need to take more pics...hopefully becoming a mom will change that.