Saturday, July 27

Finding a New Groove

There are so many untold, not romantic, nothing like Hollywood stories that take place in a marriage. Some are awkward, others frustrating, most just down right funny. Hubby and I have had plenty of these, we'll hit five years in October and I'm sure we'll have plenty more. I think the hardest adjustment has been so far the first six months after James was born. We've always been great at communication, having almost two years of being best friends before dating/engagement/wedding helped that. We've always given each other the benefit of the doubt (key to any good marriage). We've shared and told each other the hard stuff, even when we knew it hurt the other because it was the truth. No secrets (except for each others birthday/Christmas gifts) is key. When James came along time, communication and sleep all seemed to fall into the giant black hole that is having a baby in the house.  You are so focused on caring for that little baby, you stop intentionally seeking out each other, caring for each other. This doesn't happen on purpose, with any bad intentions, it just happens. Along with making time to shower, eat, sleep, clean, you have to make time for relationship. You have to focus on your husband or wife and give even when you think it could be your last drip of energy. If each half of the marriage gives a 100% to the other half, both will get what they need. So after six months, a few tears, heated discussions (we don't really fight, or argue, just the occasional bickering followed by a long talk it out session) we are finding our new balance. Squeezing in time together to cuddle, talk, enjoy each other even if it means dishes don't get done or laundry is heaped in the corner of our bedroom. After all in years to come we won't remember the laundry or the dishes or even what we ate (cheesecake for dinner...bring it on...along with pepto). What we will remember are the laughs, hugs, smiles and good times. The pressure to be a perfect mom is out there, even if just sublimely not talked about, perhaps more in our own minds than actually existing. We have to redefine what perfect means in our heads. In mine it means time spent, laughter, hugs, sharing. James will know above all God loves and cares for him followed by mom and dad. He'll know grace and love because of how it's displayed in our home, which will help him better understand grace and love from God. I'll always dream for a dishwasher and a maid service but otherwise dishes be my guest, stack up. Laundry go for it, cover the laundry room and over flow from the baskets, laughter, smiles, good times I'll choose over you any time! Now just to remember I said this when the household stuff gets a little overwhelming. I'll have to print this out and stick it to the fridge. bahaha

Why I Do It

How has our society become so perverted that something God created and designed for something so innocent is looked down upon? Over the course of the last six months while exclusively pumping for my son I've read a lot, seen a lot. I've come to the conclusion that those mamas that breastfeed their babies in public are wonderful, strong, and trying to normalize something that should never of become not normal in the first place. While it can be uncomfortable to see a mama breastfeed in public it's not because it shouldn't happen it's because our society has perverted breast feeding. The breast is associated with sex in today's world. This makes me laugh, God gave almost every animal on the planet nipples so they could nurse their young. It's natural, what do you think Jesus got, it wasn't formula I know that much. God made breast milk to be perfect for babies, everything they need. Just like with anything man engineers while formula isn't harmful to babies, it's not the best. I'm not saying that mamas that give formula are bad on any level, we had to use it in the beginning. Don't go there. Sometimes while formula may not provide everything that breast milk does, it allows the mama to be her best self for the little one which makes that choice the best for that family. Today, modern technology has allowed more mamas to give their babies breast milk that otherwise wouldn't of been able to. I'm part of that group, thank goodness for a double electric breast pump. I can give my little boy the best stuff possible, when nursing didn't work for us. He had a bad latch, among several other issues which made nursing a struggle, incredibly painful, and downright exhausting.While pumping can be exhausting, time consuming, and not convenient it's the choice I've made to give my little boy the best I can. The benefits are overwhelming, I've listed some below as well as a few thinks that I've found to support it them. Next time you see a mama breast feeding in public, smile, give a thumbs up but please even if you disagree don't be that person to say something. Plus... is she really showing any more skin than what we are seeing in the high schools or on the beaches these days...

For mom it lowers the rates of postpartum depression, obesity, and cancer. It also helps to regulate hormones faster, and get your mama body back to a new normal (chances are it will never be like it was pre-baby).

For baby it lowers the rates of obesity (into adulthood), diabetes, cancer (in boys as well as girls), sickness (ear infections to stuff nose). It lowers the baby's rate of SIDS, and allergies. It also can increase their intelligence.

For your bank account. At six months we estimate we'd be spending upwards of $100 - $150 in formula. Breastmilk changes as your baby gets older so the amount your baby needs stops increasing at around six months and stays the same 28-36oz. Formula fed babies continue to need more and more. At times taking 8oz in one sitting. No wonder people think having a baby is so expensive these days!

Sunday, July 21

No longer in my chest or on my sleeve

My heart is no longer in my chest or on my sleeve, it is now crawling around my living room, sitting next to me, trying to crawl up me and grab my hair. My little boy has my heart and he doesn't even know it. Every day I fight to not fear, to not worry, to cast everything upon the Lord. It's even harder now than it was before because that little boy has it. As my husband cuddled up with him tonight on our couch I couldn't help but cry. Silly, but a knot had formed in my throat and crying was the only way to get it to go away. I'm constantly researching different things related to his stage in growth and development, trying to figure out in all the research and new parenting techniques which is the right way. Was our parents way right, or is there something new, something better, or perhaps just something more us. Make as few mistakes as possible. I want him to have all the things I didn't, all the opportunities we can provide, all the experiences we can give him. Most of all I just want his life to be focused on God, centered on God. For that I know one of the biggest things is we as parents have to display our faith, talk about it with him even now. I came across a mama that lost her baby, just short of five months today on one of the boards I follow. SIDS is what they have dubbed it to be. I've prayed multiple times since then to combat the fear the devil tries to rise up in me. That will not be my little boy, he is healthy and strong. God is his protector, defender, and provider. Thanking God for protecting us, guiding us, and keeping us healthy and strong. As a mother, the devil has a new way to access us. He can use new avenues to try and get us that we haven't yet been exposed to until now. The thing he will never understand is how fierce we can get for our children. As long as I breath, my little boy will always be bathed in prayer. It's one of the greatest gifts I can give him, praying for him always and forever with great faith! Tonight I know my little boy will be just fine, every night to come I know he will be okay. I know because of the faith I have in Jesus and the promises He has given me. I praise Him for those promises and that peace tonight! So grateful to have such a wonderful Savor, such a wonderful Friend.

Saturday, July 13

Six Months

He's getting so big, six months already. Where does the time go?!

A few milestones that he passed over the last couple of months, our little boy likes growing up! When we practice sitting with him, he pushes off with his legs trying to stand up. He gets frustrated when we have him sit back down. I don't think he'll be happy until he's running.

March 16 – Sleeping through the night, somewhere around mother's day he decided that wasn't cool anymore... still trying to get him to sleep through.

May 3 – crawling/shuffling along

May 13 – First tooth broke through - have to find the photo we took...

May 22 – Holding his own bottle

June 9 - First Food (bananas)
July 7 - Top two teeth starting to come in
July 20 - First Swimming Pool experience